First things first.
Today is my sobriety date.
Last month I said it was 18 months... but I was ahead of myself. Last month was 16 (not 18... oy... ) so this month is 17 months. I love it when my math skills shine through ;)
So yeah. 17 months. I am grateful. Oh so grateful. Mostly because right now the whole not drinking-alcoholism-daily struggle thing is not so much a daily struggle. I still get caught off guard sometimes, like when my neighbor brings over half full bottles of wine from a wine tasting, and offers them for free - the good stuff - because she won't finish them all by herself. And then I stumble with my words... mumble something about a drinking problem... look down and my cheeks turn red... it happens. I try not to be embarrassed by alcoholism, but sometimes I am. Because I'm not the same as everyone else in that respect. Well, really, I am, because I think everyone deals with some shame issues, and inner demons, or have worked through them... and really, we're all the same. Struggling to make it through the day with a bit of grace, and a little bit of hope left as the day comes to an end.
~~~~~~~
This picture was taken on Tuesday. I don't take my big camera many places anymore {after using your phone for everything, the big dslr seems so bulky!!} but I took it Tuesday to capture the essence of our summer. In this picture above, Fynn is praying. As soon as we set up our blanket he looked at me and said "mommy, I need to pray to God!" and so he did. He looked at the ocean, closed his eyes, held his hands together and asked God to help keep the waves calm for the day.
And you know what? The waves were calm all day.
Be still my heart...
~~~~~~~~
I'm reading Donald Miller's A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, and loving it. I read Blue Like Jazz last year, and while it was good, it didn't wow me. This one wows me. At one point he writes:
"I've wondered, though, if one of the reasons we fail to acknowledge the brilliance of life is because we don't want the responsibility inherent in the acknowledgement. We don't want to be characters in a story because characters have to move and breathe and face conflict with courage. And if life isn't remarkable, then we don't have to do any of that; we can bee unwilling victims rather than grateful participants."
There is so much truth in that one paragraph.
Life is good. Brilliant and awe inspiring.