My mother told me that the last post I wrote seemed melancholy. I hadn't intended for it to come off that way. Wistful, maybe, but not melancholy.
Sometimes I forget that putting things out there – here – before my vision for them is complete is tricky. When I myself don't know how I really feel, and am not fully confident in my decisions, hearing other peoples perceptions of them make me doubt.
One of the comments on my last post got my mind going. Made me question if what I put out there was too out there... if my dream, my hopes for my children, don't hold enough reality in them.
I grew up in a beach town. For most of 10 years my family could walk to the beach. I was homeschooled through 8th grade, my brother through 12th, and life was simple. The education I received at home was spectacular. I understand why my parents made the decisions they did, I respect them, and while I might do things differently, I came out of that experience just as, if not more knowledgeable on some topics as my peers. I had a strong work ethic, I knew how to talk to people. And both myself and my brother were as prepared for “the real world” as any 17-18 year old could be.
And the real world... . that phrase keeps coming up and I don't like it. Because the “real world” means different things to different people. To some it is terrifying, to some beautiful, to some it is just daily life. And it's a gradual thing, the getting into the real world. The world my children live in is very real. We do real things. Just by taking them to the grocery store or the post office with me, they are seeing how the real world operates and works.
What I want for my children is to not feel pressured to conform. To make their idea of life be their reality. Whether it's becoming a pro surfer, a comedian, or having a 9-5 desk job. But I want them to know that there are options, other than the status quo, for everything.
So many times it seems like conformity is the way of life, but it does not have to be that way.
I want my children to appreciate each day. To know that each day is a gift, and no two days are alike, and they are not just hours to get through. To have a sense of adventure, and a zest for life, an unquenchable thirst for knowledge. I want them to be their own people, to find their calling in life, and to embrace it, even if it is far from the norm and means they will get funny looks and comments. I want them to know that money is not everything, but family is. That they are more important to their parents than work and money. That their lives are given to them for more than making money, and following the crowd.
I still need to be reminded of all that.
All of this has been on my heart the past few months. Trying to figure out what our lives are about, what our daily reality looks like and what we want it to be like, how we can go about making it more meaningful. It might mean homeschooling, it might mean public school. I do not know. But what I do know is that whatever decisions we make, we make them for our family, and they are right for us. Not for you, not for the family down the road, but for us.
Our reality is that life is about love, kindness and hope, and that is what I want to teach my children.
So far I think they understand that better than we do...
