Sometimes I truly forget that I don't have to be with them every second of the day. It's habit. It's routine. It's what this mama has done for three and a half years.
And it sometimes takes a day where I'm not at 100%, a day where my kids are happy and I am not, a day where they close their bedroom door on me and giggle while they play, to realize.
They need space.
Just like I need space.
Space to breathe and grow and learn.
Space to simply be...
Sometimes I forget the influence I have on them. How my mood, or guidance, little pushes can change how they play or what direction they take. Good or bad, it's there. Little things I say and do influence in ways I never would have imagined.
It's necessary at times, but not as a constant. When I'm not wanting to fully be there, that negativity spreads. It doesn't help.
Taking yourself out of the equation is one of the hardest lessons of motherhood. To step back, and have faith that it'll be okay, that the little ones need time, and space. Giggles and hand holding and smiles are proof.
Sitting on the couch surrounded by a head cold induced fog is not considered lazy. It's taking care of yourself, promoting peace by stepping back and letting words like should and don't and stop dissolve into thin air.