There have been more days than not where I've been overwhelmed by the effort it takes to maintain life...
and then I catch a glimpse in the mirror and find an airplane in a back pocket that I did not place
a simple reminder that life moves all around us, little hands moving a mile a minute - for instance... that maintaining life is more effortless than we think. That we make life complicated. I make life complicated.
And knowing that is a comfort. So with the rain pounding, and wind swirling, today is a day for stepping out of my own way and watching how live moves. Effortlessly, if we follow the signs and listen to our hearts and simply move in love.
Today we dance our day to a sound track of James Taylor. And it's a red blotchy tear streaked cheek day for the kids; they miss their daddy who is at work, they miss their Grammy who is hundreds of miles away, they miss their friend Hudson who now lives halfway across the country...
So I say yes when asked to make cookies. I say yes to helpers. I say yes to fingers in the bowl and spoons licked and all the while I'm nodding my head and saying, YES, it IS deep greens and blues for the colors I choose...
I pick a recipe from the cookbook my mother put together one Christmas. I'm trying to find my way home. To warmth and music and togetherness. I'm creating as I go, letting life fill me with answered prayers and my children stop bickering and smile with me as we eat batter straight from the bowl and roll one inch balls of dough in cinnamon and sugar.
After the cookies are in the oven we run into the living room and we dance. I twirl a boy and girl and then pick up Paige and swing her around and around. She throws back her head in laughter and says "sing STOP AND THANK YOU BABY again!!"
So I do...
and how sweet it is...
They are my cinnamon and sugar. I roll around in them, trying to coat myself with their giggles and grins and sticky sweet hands and cinnamon cheeks and pretty painted toes and dinosaur stomping feet. Moving in love every single second, and for the moment, everything seems effortless.