Yesterday ended up being one of those no good "you better pick up dinner on the way home because I am NOT making dinner tonight" kind of days.
I don't really know how it happened. We had a good morning. It was rainy, but good. We were up at my inlaws for the day. We visited some baby goats at a farm. Fynn helped feed one of the babies. We had lunch and Fynn ran around his grandparents house naked with a magnifying glass {I kid you not... } looking for who knows what. We laughed, it rained, pitter patters of liquid sunshine {as my mother in law called it, I like the phrase... } on the sun porch and in the rain gutters.
Then we came home.
And now I remember what it was... Paige found a big bug in our kitchen. On the floor. And I cannot stand bugs.
So that reminded me that I wanted to clean my bathtub {only so I could take a bath that night... priorities... } but the only cleaning stuff I had left was chemical'ish and I didn't want Paige getting in on her hands, but she wanted to take a bath while I cleaned. And no one would listen. And then things totally fell apart. Fynn dumped out all. of. his. toys. Just for fun. All of them. The kids decided to be nudists {although that's not new... } There was an entire roll of toilet paper unraveled in the kids bathroom. At one point the kids were fighting over a mop {I didn't even know we had a mop... }
It was ugly. So Lucas brought home Chinese. I took a bath. The kids went to bed. I read, and it was lovely. To have moments to string together thoughts and to connect the dots in a thinking process. That's what I had been looking for all day, which I hadn't been able to do. Because my mind needs space. And when kids are all up in my mind space, I have a hard time thinking of anything else and letting my mind be free to go where it needs to go and think the way it wants to think and to explore.
And now it's 8:30am. Fynn's eating crackers out of a huge container, on the couch. Paige is trying to steal them and I'm trying not to listen. They already managed to take the glass door off of our little entertainment center. Again, I kid you not. I don't even know how, but that's been remedied, and lesson has been learned. Without yelling.
Little bits of progress.
I'm trying to come up with an adventure for today. Outside, in the sun. Taking them somewhere so that I don't feel bad about them being cooped up inside when I wish I could say "just go outside!!!" to an expansive back yard that's fenced in and has tricycles and swings and a slide.
Instead we might have to settle for something like this:
Settle. It's all in how you look at things. I don't consider the above settling, today. But sometimes I do. And I then I wonder how I could and how I might not enjoy where we are and the opportunities we have because we rent, and because we don't have space so we look elsewhere for space. We look outside, and we breathe deeply and we have grand adventures.
Paige is begging to be picked up, to share a breakfast I have yet to make for myself. But she knows it's coming. Strawberry yogurt and granola, her favorite because it's my favorite.
And we're off. Another day, another adventure, a day where the only things on my to do list are: do not yell and get outside.
Sometimes easier said than done.