I'm just going to say it.
I love having my mother in town.
I don't mind that we're practically on top of each other when she's here, staying in our little apartment. Fynn doesn't mind that she snuggles with him at night, sharing his full size bed. Paige doesn't mind having another person to carry her around upside down.
And even though I'm married, with two kids, in my late twenties, I still don't mind if she wants to clean my stove top.
She wears the kids out, reads endless stories to them {even makes up some of her own, about little boys named Fynn going on rocket ships... } and gives so much love.
One of the huge bonuses about having her here, 24 hours a day, is that I can take the kids out one at a time. Even if it's just on errands, that time is precious, for all of us. We both get to see how the kids are one on one, which regular days don't always allow.
Today I stole Paige away and we went and picked up my new glasses. They're similar to the ones I wore in college, the ones I wore up until last fall. The most recent ones were nice {and not terribly different... } but they weren't really me. Paige saw the new glasses on me for the first time and smiled and pointed. I'll take that as a compliment.
After we picked up my glasses we went on a spur of the moment trip to Barns & Noble. I had a few things in mind... but wasn't sure I'd be able to find them. Books on faith, alcoholism, recovery. A magazine that features a new friend. Normally when I go in to a huge bookstore I get overwhelmed, and find everything but what I came in for.
Today? Each one of the four items I was looking for practically leapt out at me.
So I had to get them.
I've been so good at using the library. I believe so deeply in the library. But I wanted to hold these books. To be able to dive in with a highlighter and to underline the passages that speak to me. I want to dive in to escape. But to escape to a place similar, except with different names. I want to live what I'm going through, but to do so I have to see it from different eyes, different words, at times.
Through this trip, I got to spend some alone time with Paige. It doesn't happen often... Fynn normally jumps at the opportunity to get out without his sister. But today he said he wanted to stay home. Thanks to my mom he could {and apparently they had a wonderful time together... they drew pictures of Saturn, went swimming through a sea of couch cushions, and then greeted me at the door in his Wall-E underwear}.
At the book store we saw the nurse who discharged me from the hospital with both kids. She was kind, and sweet. Part of me wanted to run up to her and give her a hug, show her Paige. But I kept my distance. Kept the thoughts of how it was funny to run into her today, since Paige will be 18 months old tomorrow.
In those 18 months, she's blossomed. Grown so much, and is such a sweet little girl.
Paige carried a copy of Anne Lamott's Traveling Mercies through the bookstore. At the checkout counter she was reluctant to hand over the book, but she did. She waited anxiously for the cashier to give her the book back. No bag necessary for Paige. She clung to that book like it was gold. On the ride home she thumbed through the soft pages, ooo'ing and ahh'ing.
She's my girl.
So yeah, I don't mind having my mom in town. She brings with her moments and memories that are never planned, but always leave imprints on my heart.