I love homemade cakes.
I like to make cakes.
I've even decorated my share of pretty cakes.
Not today.
Today, I cried. Sobs like I don't remember sobbing since... well... I cannot remember.
I wanted to make my son a dinosaur birthday cake this year to celebrate his third birthday. I spent all day thinking about it today, cutting out templates, baking the cake, making the icing. Then I started. And constructing it turned out to be the easy part. Icing? It brought me to my knees. It brought me to tears.
Lucas was getting the kids to sleep when I started on my endeavor. And by the time he came out, he saw me, covered in blue and green icing, sobs and laughter on the kitchen floor.
As I was telling him why I was a cake decorating failure (it's all about the icing, and Mom, no matter how much confectioner sugar I added it kept melting - I swear!!!!), I sobbed and sobbed, and then I almost screamed "AND THEN THE HEAD FELL OVER!!!!" and I burst out in laughter, still sobbing of course. I was a sight for sore eyes.
And then my husband, who is probably the most incredible man alive, took a bowl of icing, an extra block of cake, and made the dinosaur a tree stump to put his head on (or a tree to eat, we'll see how the birthday boy interprets it tomorrow... ). Lucas told me over and over how Fynn was just going to love it, because it was indeed a dinosaur cake. It didn't matter if the icing was dripping off, or if the head fell over, or if it was blue and green swirls instead of just green with blue accents... and he's right.
My mother always made our birthday cakes. It was always special to pick out what cake we wanted, and to see the end product. And they were always beautiful cakes (though I now understand why she didn't use star tips for piping or anything else crazy... . she was crafty enough with candies & cookies for decorations... note taken... ) but I'm willing to bet they weren't perfect. There were flaws, but to me and my brother, our cakes were always the best in town, and we secretly pitied those who had store bought cakes because they weren't as cool as ours.
I think Lucas knew my sobs were about more than just the cake, because in typical Lucas fashion, he said the right thing tonight, "you are a wonderful mother". I love him, very few men would say that as they picked up a knife full of melty icing in attempts to help fix a little cake that ultimately could make a little boy very happy, and that in turn will bring that little boys mommy to tears again (I'm just guessing... my kids birthdays have that effect on me... ). It's always about that. It's always trying to be the best we can for our kids, and not letting them down. As soon as they're born it's about that, and it never stops.
Anyway.
Now, when you look at these pictures know that I am now laughing and giggling over the cake that is in the fridge waiting to Fynn to see it tomorrow! Be nice though...
I think this is the best angle:
This might be the worst:
And this... oh dear... I think the correct phrase is just "Oh my goodness":
