He passed. Fynn passed his food challenge. Fynn can now eat peanut butter. I can stop scanning labels for traces of, and might contain... I'm still in a state of disbelief and shock.
We celebrated with a trip to Starbucks, where I said he could pick whatever treat he wanted from the dessert case. Eyes wide open, I picked him up for a better view. His arm outstretched, finger pointing. I knew exactly where it was going. The chocolate cupcake, with icing a mile high. Two please!
My drink order came up, then we took our plate of cupcakes to a corner table. We sat, me and my little guy, by ourselves. Baby sister at home with the grandparents, Daddy at work, it was just me and him. Fynn didn't inherit just my blue eyes, he's got a love of cupcakes and icing that tops mine. Chocolate is his happy food, and he'll do the cutest dance to prove it. Since he was born I had my heart set on dates like this: hot latte for me, milk for him, cupcakes for both. Me and him. Him and me. Just us.
We sat there this afternoon, with the mid afternoon sun pouring in, our eyes squinting from the sun and from laughter. Giggles over icing covered noses and the crumbs that surrounded us. Giving each other bites of our cupcakes. I watched him licking the frosting and smiling from ear to ear as chocolate covered his face. Then they pricked. It took all that I had not to let the tears fall. So I smiled, closed my eyes and threw my head back, smiling a secret thankful smile. The worry was gone. I was not concerned with what was in the cupcake, what could be in it, or what could have been on the machinery. Gone. The years ahead of us hold many worries and concerns, but not that of a peanut allergy and epi pens and anaphylactic shock.
As I write this I'm still overwhelmed with emotions. I'm so thankful that God met us halfway. Had we not been so vigilant the past two years, Fynn might not have passed his peanut challenge. Even when people do as we did, it doesn't always turn out this way. Fynn's the exception to the rule {and you could tell by the emotionless allergist's face, his smile said a thousand words} We did our part, and He saw, heard our prayers, recognized, and helped the rest of the way. I'm not going question, or ask why us and not other deserving families. Right now I can only focus on being thankful.
Fynn and I stayed at the coffee shop just long enough to finish our cupcakes and clean up hundreds of crumbs. We walked hand in hand through the doors into the fresh air. My step a little lighter, eyes a little watery. As we headed home he told me over and over how he got to try peanut butter, how he passed his test, how he loved his cupcake. My cheeks hurt from smiling, my belly filled with chocolaty goodness, my legs ached to jump for joy.
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I feel the need to add that this post is not intended to gloat about Fynn outgrowing his allergy. We are grateful, but know that not everyone's situations turn out like ours has. I know there are many families who read this who are coping with food allergies. There is hope for outgrowing them, but if not, hopefully those around us {you} will understand the severity of food allergies and will have compassion and honesty in their hearts. My thoughts are with you, and I'm oddly thankful for the opportunity to have learned about living with food allergies.