I've had a terrible case of the mean reds recently. As I'm sure you can tell from the posts this week, it's been a rough week. Filled with transitions, headaches, loss of patience... but at the same time it's been full of immense pride, of joyful moments, of quiet moments, and of hope.
But still, the mean reds have crept up on me. They come out of nowhere. Have you heard of the mean reds before, or experienced them? The following quote is from my most favorite movie, Breakfast at Tiffany's.
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Holly Golightly: You know those days when you get the mean reds?Paul Varjak: The mean reds, you mean like the blues?
Holly Golightly: No. The blues are because you’re getting fat and maybe it’s been raining too long, you’re just sad that’s all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you’re afraid and you don’t know what you’re afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?
Paul Varjak: Sure.
Holly Golightly: Well, when I get it the only thing that does any good is to jump in a cab and go to Tiffany’s. Calms me down right away. The quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could happen to you there. If I could find a real-life place that’d make me feel like Tiffany’s, then – then I’d buy some furniture and give the cat a name!
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I can't remember the first time I watched Breakfast at Tiffany's, but as long as I can remember I've loved it. And identified with it. Trying to create yourself, trying to be yourself, trying to find a love, trying to stay true to yourself. Learning to love. To accept. To grow up.And of course, I've loved her little black dress. And the pearls. How can you not love Audrey Hepburn in this movie? So simple and elegant, full of conflict and complexity.
Back to the mean reds. They creep up on me. But it's always comforting to know that someone else, somewhere, has gotten through them. Even if it's a fictional character that was created years before my time. The quote above is something that I could read over and over, and every time I would say This... so so this.